Tevez: I'm BACK!

In a strange turn of totally predictable events, Carlos Tevez has relinquished his transfer request. His retirement is going to end up like a Latin American "Brett Favre retirement" telemundo ep. We need REAL tears Carlos. REAL tears. CUT!

In all seriousness, apparently Bob Mancinci talked it up with young Carlos and now he no longer wants to leave, probably because he is gonna get paid! Again, Carlos is laughing with all his teammates to the bank. Welp at least he said he wanted to stay BEFORE today's fixture with the Toffees at the Eastlands.

Everton outclassed Citeh for the first 60 minutes taking a 2-0 lead before Anichebe took his second bad yellow of the game. Citeh were only able to claw back one though even with Everton down a man. Citeh fans were walking for the exits before injury time was up! Some fans! Come on you losers! Money can't buy W's but at least it can keep you Carlos Tevez another few months! Have fun challenging for the title!

SNOWBALL FIGHT EL NINO

WINTERY WEATHER POSTPONES SEVERAL FIXTURES!

That about sums it up. Many games were canceled this past weekend due to SNOW in England. SNOW! Oh and Blackpool's pitch isn't heated. (Just a reminder to all) So don't be surprised if more Blackpool games get postponed until March...

Sweet pic huh? Best snowball fight ever.



Roy Keane

v.



The Special One

Dreaming of Early Retirement?

Well we know one professional football who lies awake every night pinching pennies and dreaming of early retirement. Carlos Tevez. The Argentinian international is homesick. Or maybe he just hates England. Or maybe he just hates Mancini? Or maybe just Citeh? Or maybe Citeh's board? Who knows. BUT Tevez wants OUT! He wants to retire, move back to Argentina, play in Spain, or maybe all three. Either way he wants OUT of Citeh. OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT. Yes you read that correctly. Citeh's most influential and dynamic player wants OUT!

I'm laughing all the way to the bank. Actually no I am not laughing, all the players on Citeh are laughing. As they keep collecting their astronomical wages and keep smiling on the pitch. Who cares about losing your best player while trying to win games and challenge for a title? PFFFFFFFFFFT! MONEY! DINERO!

Maybe ALL citeh players are just like Carlos. They all want to retire early so their are cashing in NOW by playing for this KRAP club.

What a joke Citeh fans. Keep up the good work.

Good luck to Carlos. May he find happiness somewhere on the football pitch.

The Blues Brothers

Chelsea and the blue boys made their annual trip to Three Point Lane today, but they only came back to the Bridge with one point? That's right. Chelsea played catch up most of the match today after being outclassed by the Spurs in the opening 30 minutes of play. Tottenham capitalized on their early blitz with a goal from Roman Pav. Pav can play still apparently when they give him a chance. Gareth Bale continued his ridic streak of form terrorizing Cashley Cole BUT only for the first 30 minutes.

Then all hell broke loose. And by hell I mean nothing happened. Tottenham went back into a shel trying to protect their one goal lead and Chelsea settled maintained possession. It was really a one sided game from here on out. Drogba was brought on at the break and scored in the 70th minute to tie it. It was not to be though. The blues were still singing the blues when time was up. Ramires did well to earn himself a kick from the spot, but Drogba continued the Blues poor form with a piss poor effort. Gomes saved his shot easily and the tie was preserved.

How much longer till Chelsea get their swagger back? Ancelotti to be canned? New players in the transfer window? Is Fat Frank fit yet??? Alex??? Is this squad just too old?

Who knows. I don't care much either. I'd rather Liverpool fire Roy Hodgson asap but that's a topic we are all too familiar with on this blog.

Mike Ashley = Smartest Man Alive

There isn't much to say about this. Mike Ashley, owner of #NUFC, is the smartest man in the universe. Or maybe just the biggest d-bag in the universe. Mid-week, OUT OF THE BLUE, he canned his manager Chris Hughton. The same Chris Hughton who led Newcastle to the top of the Championship in the previous season. The same Chris Hughton who has Newcastle in the top half of the table through November of this EPL season. The same Chris Hughton whom the players love and respect. Oh yea and he hired a loser named Alan Pardew whose most notable achievement is leading West Ham to a loss in PK's in the 2006 FA Cup Final to Liverpool. (Thanks Alan)

I think everyone agrees with me, including the players, when saying our only reaction is... silence? Shocked. Speechless. Astonished. Boy is this Mike Ashley guy a GENIUS! He has now officially taken that title away from Brian Billick. (see wikipedia: Brian Billick for all you Euros)

An N'GOAL for N'GOG and Babel?

Gerard Houllier had a great return to Anfield this Monday night and by great I mean he watched a spectacular performance from his old club (while applauding). Liverpool absolutely abolished Aston Villa who now themselves are wary of the drop zone.

RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUL Meireles and LUCAS Leiva were the engineers of the massacre. The pair combined to dominate the central midfield and added the creativity needed in the final third with their vision and passing. Who needs Stevie G? Who needs Torres? Who by the way missed the match to be with his girlfriend while she was in labor with their second child. Congrats to Fernando. Family is definitely more important than football. Good for he and Olalla.

Also good for POOL (notice how I use the letters p-o-o-l these days) to get the 3 points. Pepe also recorded his 10th PL shutout while wearing the captains armband. Oh yeah and before I forget, N'Gog AND Babel partnered up top and both scored GOALSSSSSSSSSS! (no that is NOT a typo, but there probably are many others throughout)

All in all a great night at Anfield. With the disaster of this week with Newcastle upon Tyne, I expect more of the same this weekend...

Get England a WHAMburger and some FRENCH cries!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Tears have been flowing from all the arrogant football jerks in England this past week. It's everyone's fault too apparently that England will NOT be hosting the 2018 World Cup. No England. It is not the BBC's fault. It is not Sepp's fault. It is not Beckham's fault. It is not Prince William's fault. It is not Birmingham Citeh's supporter's fault. IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT ENGLAND. JEEZ. Someone else deserves to host the World Cup. You hosted it already (even if it was over 50 years ago or something). Russia is a new frontier for soccer. They put together a good package. Get over yourselves. Russia was the front runner from the start. Only English media pumped it up to make it seem like they were actually a shoe in to win. SORRY! Just because you (as in the bloody English) would have had home field advantage does not mean you would have won the silverwear.

In a less dramatic tear jerk reaction, the USA USA USA (my home country) did not win the 2022 bid either. Guess what? I don't care. We don't deserve it. Nobody here cares about soccer. The stadiums are not meant for soccer. The citizens could care less if it was soccer or badminton. I am actually excited for Qatar to win the bid. They will be the first team to win it in the Middle East. The stadium plans for this venue are outrageous. It should be a great event and I look forward to attending. I would tell the USA to stop crying but nobody really cares. I think it made ESPN for half a day on the front page. Americans pretty much only care about ESPN so it is safe to say that it was NOT a hot topic or concern.

Anyway, GOOD FOR RUSSIA AND GOOD FOR QATAR. Everyone else suck it up and enjoy the beautiful game.

EL CLASICO!!!

It was classic alright. It was a classic display of Cruyff and the 70's brilliant dutch football come to life. Barca was Barca. Real was well... a cheap imitation of Barca?

What was determined to be the excitement of the footy world this weekend, was not exciting in the sense most fans would like in that it lacked competition. Real Madrid strolled into Camp Nou at the top of La Liga table and an undefeated season. They left with their tails between their legs and Jose Mourinho left to question his tactics, coaching, player selection, pregame speech, halftime speech, everything. Barca destroyed Real Madrid. They played the beautiful game beautifully. The Special one thought he could play the beautiful game better, but he was wrong. There is only ONE special team in football and that is Barcelona. They proved it in stylish fashion, with a 5-0 demolition of their hated rival.

Some game huh? Looking forward to the next matchup at the Bernabeu and Jose Mourinho's press conferences the rest of the season.